City Wide Weekend!

I always get excited at the prospect of selling and shopping at City Wide Garage Sale, on account that it's the most fantastically amazing thing ever created.

Whenever I started shopping and then eventually selling at the City Wide, I felt a little bit like Markie Post or Meredith Baxter Birney in one of those Lifetime movies about the perils of addiction - "Unraveled: The LeAnn Stephenson Story" - in which I rob from the kids' chore money and pawn my pancreas to get one more shopping fix. 

The way I figure it, everyone has a vice of some sort or another.  I probably will never have a drug addiction, or gamble my inheritance away, or take up a smoking habit in which I smoke so much that I spontaneously combust. 

My vice is vintage and antique shopping.

The first time I experienced this particular show, my eyes immediately caught fire and my heart raced when I saw booth after booth of vintage goodies awaiting me.  In my opinion it's the finest example of vintage shopping porn in central Texas.  I recall having to catch my breath, sit down, and put my head between my knees so I wouldn't pass out the first time I visited.

I always find amazingly groovy junk, I mean treasures, from the many vendors at City Wide.  And because I had specific request from a faithful stalker, I mean reader, I want to show you some of the goodies I picked up at this fall's Antique's Week that I plan on bringing to this weekend's sale.

Lots of beautiful needlepoint . . . .

. . . . . tons of new vintage frocks . . . .

. . . . . rainbow colors of vintage crystal inventory . . . .

. . . . . and of course piles of vintage textiles, napkins and damask tablecloths.

The sale is at the Palmer Events Center here in Austin.  I'll be set up near the red skirted info desk. There is a $7 charge to park in the garage or there is a free parking lot at One Texas Center on the Southwest corner of So. First and Barton Springs Road, as well.

Saturday morning between 8:30 a.m. - 10 a.m., City Wide offers early shopper passes for $10 each.  This allows those who so choose to have early access to the show and get first dibs on vendors' merchandise before the general admission customers enter at 10 a.m.

I hope you get a chance to come and see me, cuz I have some really marvelous goodies this show!

Have a great weekend and I'll see every back here Monday!

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Kankles, Karma and Kittens

Friends, there's something about me that you should know:  I'm a wussy, cry baby, whiney pants.

I'm talkin' cranky baby squared!  And to prove my point, I'd like to present you with some ex-post facto - which is Latin for "Lord, that girl can complain!"  So, pay attention, there will be a quiz later.

Fact #1:  I'm in a circus-type tent in the middle of a cow pasture for this Fall's Antiques Week.

Fact #2:  All of my vintage crap, I mean merchandise, is placed in and around said circus tent.

Fact #3:  It is hurricane season.

Fact #4:  It has been raining off and on for the past 4 days.

Fact #5:  I have taken up yoga to calm my over-caffeinated mind and slim my over-fed body.

Fact #6:  There are fire ants in my socks.

Fact #7:  I'm a teensy weensy bit allergic to said ants of the fire persuasion - I have "kankles," which the urban dictionary defines as calves that become feet without taking an ankle break.

Fact #8:  Flea markets and antique shows medical facilities usually have to shoulder other responsibilities.  For example, the First Aid slash Central Office slash concession booth that administered a dose of Benadryl to me came with a kettle corn chaser and a bar-b-que'd turkey leg - now that's health care reform!

Fact #9:  And before any of that happened, our new kitty decided today would be a good day to have violently explosive diarrhea . . . in my tennis shoe . . . 

So, here are the 2 questions on my little quiz:

How many downward-facing dogs will have to do to find my center?  And, how many hours will I have to sit and rub my blanky against my cheek to find my happy place again?

Photo courtesy Consumerfriendly

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When LeAnn Met Mr. Holmes

I have two words for this past week - OY VEY!!!

I've been washing, ironing, pressing, painting and upholstering everything that doesn't move out of my way - such a glamorous life I lead, I know!  Da Hubbs and I leave today for the spring Antiques Week in Round Top, Texas.  I'm not ready - not gonna be ready - never ready -  I've been contemplating faking some sort of psychosomatic episode - one of those curl up in bed and suck my thumb and rub my blanky against my cheek, kinda deals.  But, alas - the junkers and antique-ers call, so I must press forward . . . .  Get it, "press" - I slay me!

So, instead of continuing the "Yikes -I'm-freakin'-out-cuz-I'm-a-chronic-procrastinator-dance," I have a story . . . .

Ready?

Last week I made a new friend.  I elected to change her name in this story for various reasons.  This is mainly out of respect for the fact that most people don't make new acquaintances in order to appear later in a blog post.  I've made only one exception to this self-imposed policy of anonymity.  Mr. Holmes really is named Mr. Holmes.  I wanted to use his real name because it is integral to the story.

This friendship was formed during . . . . Wait for it . . . . . . BINGO NIGHT!!! . . .  I new it was only a matter of time before I was wheeled down to the senior center to play "the bingo", but I suspected I had a few more years before this happened.  I've decided to call my new friend Jo Betsy Greenberg - she's one of those lilting southern ladies - only with quite a colorful vocabulary and a really quirky sense of humor.

Any-who, we arrived at BINGO NIGHT and were being taken around to meet the other folks at the party.  Within a matter of seconds, she was there - her hand held out and ready to shake.  She introduced herself as Jo Betsy Greenberg and then said, "My husband's the Jew - I just converted for the jokes." 

You love her yet, or what?  Wait, it gets better . . .

She, motions toward the sofa where her little yip-yip dog is perched and says, "That little horn-bone over there is Mr. Holmes."  I didn't get it until later, when it hit me that she was referring to John Holmes, the 1970s porn star.  It hit because Mr. Holmes proceeded to sexually assault my left leg for the next 30 minutes.  Finally, Jo Betsy said, "Just fake an orgasm and he'll quit."  So, I did - all Meg Ryan-like from When Harry Met Sally fame and he stopped and went over to his little dog bed and shot me "call me later" glances, punctuated occasionally by little squeaking noises that sounded like air being released from a balloon little by little, to which Jo Betsy would say, "Poor Mr. Holmes - he's got "the gas."  By the end of the evening, the air in her apartment was visible and smelled of rotten eggs, dead body and a tinge of Ben-Gay, which dilated ye old olfactory nerve, making the stench summon tears and my gag reflex repeatedly!

Okay, so that was gross, but I had to share and continue my lot in life as the "Too Much Information Giver." 

So, now I must be off to Round Top for the next 8 days to sell some vintage goodies - so wish me luck!  Keep checking in though, cuz I'll occasionally post updates, pics and more stories.  And unlike Vegas - What happens in Round Top does not necessarily stay in Round Top!

If you are planning on attending Antiques Week this spring, I would love it if you would come by and see me at my spaces at Vickie Davis' wonderful venue, The Texas Rose Antiques Show, located across from Marburger Farms, 2075 South State Highway 237.  You can find directions here.  The show begins Saturday, March 27th, and runs through Saturday, April 3, 2010.

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