Hi! and thanks for seeking out more information about me and my company - I like you already! But I think it’s only fair to warn you about a few things. . .
To begin with, you know how packaged products are required to have a label listing ingredients and such? Well, I think people should have labels, too! Before you even think of speaking to me or engaging me in any manner, you should probably read my label. It has recommendations for your use and safety (see below.)
Calories: None of your business
Sodium: Queen of the Swelling & Bloating Float in the High Blood Pressure & Congestive Heart Failure Thanksgiving Day Parade
Carbohydrates: Girl, please!
Sugar: Can I get a witness?!
LeAnn Stephenson is fun for the whole family. Made from 100% morose introspection and existential crisis, she was born in Alamogordo, New Mexico. She played in the White Sands Basin Range where, twenty years earlier, the Trinity nuclear (atomic) bomb was tested (which explains a lot.) She contains more than 75% of the world's eyebrow hair (see nuclear bomb) and in a blind taste test, 2 out of 5 children tested chose LeAnn as their mother.
The number of blue & white ginger jars LeAnn Stephenson owns has been described as "very disturbing."
But on a more serious note, I just want you all to know that my vintage rental collections have been curated with vintage & antique pieces to create a clever brew of opulence and nostalgia. The goal is for our vintage rental inventory to bring your event to life in a classic, affordable, and beautiful way. I am thrilled to share The Vintage Laundry Events products and design services with you! Over the years it has been so exciting to help clients from all over the country bring their visions to life. If you should need any of our expertise or our collections for your event, feel free to fill out this annoying form and I will get back with you right away.