Friends, there's something about me that you should know:  I'm a wussy, cry baby, whiney pants.

I'm talkin' cranky baby squared!  And to prove my point, I'd like to present you with some ex-post facto - which is Latin for "Lord, that girl can complain!"  So, pay attention, there will be a quiz later.

Fact #1:  I'm in a circus-type tent in the middle of a cow pasture for this Fall's Antiques Week.

Fact #2:  All of my vintage crap, I mean merchandise, is placed in and around said circus tent.

Fact #3:  It is hurricane season.

Fact #4:  It has been raining off and on for the past 4 days.

Fact #5:  I have taken up yoga to calm my over-caffeinated mind and slim my over-fed body.

Fact #6:  There are fire ants in my socks.

Fact #7:  I'm a teensy weensy bit allergic to said ants of the fire persuasion - I have "kankles," which the urban dictionary defines as calves that become feet without taking an ankle break.

Fact #8:  Flea markets and antique shows medical facilities usually have to shoulder other responsibilities.  For example, the First Aid slash Central Office slash concession booth that administered a dose of Benadryl to me came with a kettle corn chaser and a bar-b-que'd turkey leg - now that's health care reform!

Fact #9:  And before any of that happened, our new kitty decided today would be a good day to have violently explosive diarrhea . . . in my tennis shoe . . . 

So, here are the 2 questions on my little quiz:

How many downward-facing dogs will have to do to find my center?  And, how many hours will I have to sit and rub my blanky against my cheek to find my happy place again?

Photo courtesy Consumerfriendly

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