Dear readers, customers, friends and family,
It has come to my attention that I have become a little overly excited and well . . . . Obsessed is the word I'm gonna use here, by my nomination to the "Favourite Vintage Shop!" category in the poll hosted by the marvelous Canadian blog Poppytalk - but, to be honest, "obsessed" doesn't fully cover my preoccupation!
I'm so grateful to the people that nominated and voted for me of their own free will. And of course by “nominated and voted” and “of their own free will”, I mean, they were “intimidated and coerced by "some unknown force”. And, okay, by “some unknown force," I mean “me”.
But still! . . . . I really can’t understand why I'm falling behind in the poll. I’m a perfect fit for the “Favourite Vintage Shop” award.
And here is the proof:
I can do FAVOURITE!
• I sometimes spell "FAVOURITE" with the "u" (so what if we spell favourite without the "u" here in Texas. That, in itself, shows a casual attitude towards my native language which might also be construed as a strong sense of really having Canadian DNA.)
• Lots of people tell me I’m their "favourite" – granted, this is after I ask them directly in a somewhat forceful, overbearing manner.
• Why, just last week, I was the winner of the coveted "Nicest Person to Cuss Out a Telemarketer Award." And that’s practically like an Oscar for heaven sake!
• If I ever got the chance to say "aboot" for "about", and "prho-gress" instead of "pr-aw-gress" I’d , like, totally do it
I am VINTAGE!
• I once posted my actual age on the internet.
• I have publicly revealed that I was a teenager in the 1980s and wore big ol "shoulder-ma-pads" in my boyfriend jacket with the sleeves pushed up, as the John Hughes/Pretty In Pink/Sixteen Candles Review Board insisted upon.
• My birth certificate and driver’s license prove it.
I have a SHOP or have been known to SHOP!
• I have a website, an Etsy page, a Facebook Fan page, and I tweet (therefore, I am.)
• I can pee without sitting down on the public toilet or port-o-potty, which everyone knows is proof that I'm a seasoned shopper/junker.
• I think about the shop and shopping for the shop to the point of neurosis.
So, where have I gone wrong? Is it because the current leader in the poll has brushed hair and lacks a ginormous pimple on their cheek that can be seen on satellite images? Or that the current leader in the poll is not pictorially represented by a "heavily-photoshopped-taken-above-my-head-so-you-can-only-see-one-chin" profile photo taken at a distinctly jaunty angle, courtesy of "The Elect The Vintage Laundry 'Favourite Vintage Shop'" Marketing Team? Or, is it because the target audience for the poll is not dominated by southern, happy pill poppin', slightly irreverent, junk gypsies in their mid 40s?
Whatever your reasons (and I’m sure you have them), I just wanted you to know that your "Favourite Vintage Shop" listing would be a much more colourful category with me and my "Vintage Laundry" in attendance – as anyone at the "Seriously, You've got to Get Over This Poll Fundraiser" can attest.
Yours, ever-so-slightly anxious,
The Vintage Laundress
P.S. If you haven't voted yet - I would love you support. The poll is open until 11:59 p.m. tonight, Friday, January 29, 2010 (Canadian time) and you can cast your vote here.
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