As most of you know, I've never been a "knows-her-way-around-a-kitchen" type person. It's not the kitchen part per se, it's just that... so much of what goes on in there involves cooking tasty dishes that people can actually eat without summoning their gag reflex.

I'm just back from a visit with may darling Mother, MaMa Jo. When the kids and I visit her, we have such fun and miss her dreadfully when we get home. Although, and I love a good "although," one of the less pleasant results is that my ego is confronted 3 times a day with the realization that I'm a "sucky" cook. My Mom is the queen of gastronomic delights, she can quite literally take 2 pieces of bread, rub them together and "presto!," a 4-course-super-delicious-meal magically appears on our plates! Upon seeing my crest-fallen ego, my Mom suggested that while visiting I try my hand at baking. After hearing this, I figured that this was an idea that might give a bad idea the will to live . . . . Bless her! She has no idea of her daughter's lack of skills! But, I gave it my best and as fate would have it, she was right - baking might actually be my thing!

I've perfected one of her most requested pies, and I would love to share the recipe with you. This "Becky-Home-ecky" moment will provide you with a couple of opportunities; the first being a chance to find your insulin shock threshold and second, offering you a way to shed the pale imitation of a life you presently posses without the knowledge of this tasty recipe.

Also important to note is that this pie might provoke the sounds that my Golden Retriever, AJ, makes when he's been licking himself too long.


MaMa Jo's Magic Pie

• Use an electric mixer to blend 8 oz. of Creme Cheese, 2 tsp. of Vanilla extract or 1 cap full of Almond extract.

• Mix in 1 can of sweetened condensed milk (I use Eagle Brand) - a little bit at a time, until thoroughly mixed.

• Add 1/3 cup of lemon juice and mix, again.

• Take a 12 ounce "do-hickey" of Cool Whip and fold half of the container into the above mixture.

• Plop all that into one of those crusts from the freezer section at the grocery store or one of those Graham-cracker ones - that would be tasty, too. (Just get over yourself and buy the pre-made kind. Don't be all Ina-Garten-Barefoot-Contessa-y about it!)

• Place in the fridge and guard with your meanest "don't-make-me-stop-this-car" face for about an hour before serving. You can top with fresh blue berries, strawberries or canned cherries, but I like mine naked-y.

• Serve with a smile and the number for Jenny Craig, whenever possible.